Mini Me

Page 5 - July 17, 1999
Dear Deitra,
     I have decided that since all of the quality dragqueens have abandoned ship, I want to step in and get me some of the front spot light and free prizes.  But I have this delima that I am facing;  see I have this "sista friend" of mine that is trying to help me get my act together and look as good as possible.  The problem is that I have heard rumor that people are calling me a "clone" of her.  Could it be that she is trying to make me look as good as her?  I really want my own style, but I am lost for answers and I need just a little shove in the right direction and a little guidance.  Can you help?!

 P.S.  I would also need some hints on a "drag" name.  Any suggestions will be most helpful.

Thanks,
Lite Headed

Dear Lite Headed,
     Sorry to hear that your new career has taken the bumpy side of the road.  First of all let me say that you probably need to plug the hole in your boat!  It seems to be headed in the downward direction at a rapid speed!  And just a little advice about taking beauty tips from other gals;  DON'T!  If you are taking those tips and using them then you might want to get a bottle of windex and a roll or two of bounty and look in your dirty ass mirror before you step in front of the spot light.  And Hun, let me tell you a little secret; ain't nothin' free!!! (except for this advice that I am giving you)  and the only prize that you might get will be in the dressing room when you see Fontaine untuck.......that would be a great "surprise"!  If you are serious about this, then I suggest that you
use your own judgement and if you're still a little in the dark, get on the internet and do a little surfing; I did and look where it got me!
    As far as me giving you a "shove" I really can't do that seeing who you are letting do your makeup because it would only leave you face down in the mud!  Honey Can-o-lice can't hold a candle to me and I won't even be placed in the same category with her! (Ditsy Dumpster).  I did a little homework for you and came up with this site that should be most helpful.  Try it out! http://beautyinside.com/  All you gurls need to sign on this site and take some careful tips from these gals.  They seem to have their shit in one sock!
    Lastly but not leastly, Hun as far as me helping you come up with a "drag" name............ hummmmmmm..........let's see.  You take tips from Candace, borrow wigs from Candace, perfume,gloves,makeup,duct tape(whoops....won't be needing that), and obviously she dresses you so.............I've Got IT!!!!!!......................You are now THE ALMIGHTY "TRASHCILA"!!!
    Well, gotta run gals.  I hear the herd calling!  Take care and keep those noses powdered!  And just remember, if you feel that your boat is sinking, well, SWIM LIKE HELL!!!!

    Love Ya!
    Deitra

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