Episode One
Subject:
        Pulp Wood haulers

i am a drag queen and consider myself to be the shit!  The only thing now is that i need to make other people realize this instead of them thinking i'm a pulp wood hauler.  Can u suggest any thing that i might do to correct this horrible situation.  Maybe some clothes to hide my humungous body or something.

p.s. and suggestions will do
Sincerely,
big girl

Deitra's Answer:
    Wheeeeeeeeew, I finally made it!   You just wouldn't believe the shit that Puecilla put me through!  I have been searching long and hard for that bitch, but I just can't find her.  If anyone has a clue as to the whereabouts of her silly ass, could you please send her home!  I hear tale that she eloped with one of Butch's Ex's and left town.
     O.K.........For the first order of business.......where shall I start?  Alrighty then, looks like we have a girl who is faced with a shit load of mahem!  Poor thing, sounds as if she were a little distraught over her "not-so-feminine-side".  Well hun, you should be!  The first thing that you did wrong was admit that you were a "DRAGQUEEN".  Big Gurlz need to be in the gym, not in a dress!   Second, if you were to remove the "SH" from shit; what does this leave?  Hummmm.....let's see.  I do believe it spells IT!!  And as far as your problem with others thinking that you were a pulpwood hauler, well hun, you need to lay off the grits and cornbread.  You know that this kind of stuff is what gives us southern gals a terrible waist line.  And to elieviate your problem with with the overly enlarged biceps you should quit shoveling so much of that bullshit that I'm sure that you
and the other 98% of your sisters do.  OOOOOOOOOOps! Excuse me!  I didn't mean to hit that nerve!  It'll be alright.  Last but not least, remember that you undertall gals should always stick to darker colors......it shows less of your size!  And in your case you might want to ensure that you roll those sleeves down prior to getting into your truck and parting for town.
    As Deitra always tells herself and all her galfriends, keep your head up and your ass off the ground and remember that if a frog had wings, he wouldn't fall on his ass either!!!

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