Looking Better Than Ever

The Gay Agenda

Many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. I certainly hope it will assist your own planning efforts.

It reads as follows:
The Homosexual Agenda

6:00 am: Gym

8:00 am: Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)

9:00 am: Hair appointment

10:00 am: Shopping 

12:00 pm: Brunch

2:00 pm:
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State, and Local Governments, as well as all other national governments,
2) destroy all healthy marriages,
3) replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
4) bulldoze all houses of worship,
5) secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media, and
6) be fabulous

2:30 pm: Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest

4:00 pm: Cocktails

6:00 pm: Light Dinner (soup, salad [with arugula and balsamic vinegar dressing],Chardonnay)

8:00 pm: Theater

10.30 pm: Cocktails in the 'hood

12:00 pm: Bed (du jour)
Found our I don't have to change my lifestyle at all. That's a relief!

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