Looking Better Than Ever
I think everybody knows how this guy feels.
> >> Subject: [Fwd: Read this one if you ignore the
This is beautiful!!!!!!!!
Hello, my name is Jay Hyman. I suffer from the guilt of not
forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who
actually believe that if you send them on a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas
with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have
it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? "Ooooh,
looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by
every Playboy model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit.
Basically, this message is a big fuck you to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe
the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by
Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower. If you're going to forward something, at least send me
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your
closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90
times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about
what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards.
Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If
it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty
about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead
elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter
he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning
your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your
Hmmm? Underwear that Eats your genitals? Who knows with the proper training!
Maybe Not but it is an interesting thought.
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